Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
