I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
