Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
