Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
