I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
