bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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