Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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