hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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