so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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