so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
