It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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