He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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