So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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