marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
