I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
