Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
