I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
