So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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