I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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