So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
