My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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