I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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