His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
