his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
