10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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