I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
