This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
