Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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