when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
