real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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