I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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