So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
