all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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