maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Everyone says I win the strip club
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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