I wanna bring you to show and tell
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
