Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
