I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
