I will die if light touches me.
She said her name was "party"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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