remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
