why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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