I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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