Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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