If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
