Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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