So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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