Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
