Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
