It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
