we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
