I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
