I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
