Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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