I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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